I take public transit every day, and not a single day goes by when I do not get hassled by a male member of the population. I get asked for my number, I get whistled at, I have men openly stare at me. Occasionally money is offered, though it is always an insultingly low sum. A friend of mine had a man stand in front of her as she sat, reach into his pocket, and masturbate covertly in front of her. All this irritates me, true, but today was the last straw; today, I declare myself divorced from the human male population. Ciao. ( more madness )

We're not unreasonable; I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes.
So I'm a zombie now. I'm experimenting with polyphasic sleep cycles [specifically the Uberman Cycle]. To sum up in laymen's terms, the theory goes that one only really needs to go through a couple of REM sleep cycles to feel good, and furthermore that one can train one's body to enter REM quickly. Hence, one ought to be able to sustain one's self on a series of six Power Naps, twenty to forty minute each, spaced out throughout the day. ( more madness )

"There is no shame in asking for help." This is is the mantra of every well-wisher, every good friend, every concerned party. They assure you that it takes a great and wise man to acknowledge his own fallibility and reach out for assistance. These people are kind, caring, and oblivious to the overwhelming, crushing shame of actually asking for assistance when one truly needs it. ( more madness )

I fell in love with the old man as soon as he walked through the door and made a terrible joke, some shameful pun.
It is two weeks after my parents found out what I do for a living and my Mother kicked me out. I am living at the dungeon now, unwilling and unable to go home. ( more madness )

"My daughter is a prostitute," my Mother announces flatly in her thick Russian accent as she enters my bedroom and sinks slowly down to the floor, glass of wine shaking in her hand.
Damn. I had hoped to avoid this; I had been working at the dungeon for a few months now as a submissive, and was about to take the test to become a switch. In a week I was to become one, one week! I was planning to tell her then. I was going to tell her I was a Mistress: she wouldn't have known the difference. I tried to salvage the situation.
"No, Mum, I'm a Dominatrix, it's different. I beat men, like with sticks and floggers."
"Oh? That is not what the website says." ( more madness )

I pride myself on my callipygian physique, my Rubenesque figure. As I like to tell my friends, it takes a lot of cupcakes to maintain a shape such as my own. While I know that not everyone likes the way I look, I do expect some degree of courtesy from my clientele, an expectation that is not always met. ( more madness )

The payphone in the hallways rings, and the desk girl calls out, "Anastasia, it's Foot Fetish Fred for you!" I run to pick up the receiver, sliding it on to my shoulder as I tuck a stray hair behind my ear. The clients usually don't conduct phone interviews with us, but rather come in to see us in person. "It's a far drive for me to get down there," whines a nasal sheep voice over the telephone. That explains it, I suppose. ( more madness )

Dear Master,
I am sorry. I have hurt you, I have been selfish, and I have been too focused on My own pain to notice yours. You accuse Me of arguing, not listening, being difficult, not caring; of not being a good girlfriend, submissive, and student. I am arrogant and argumentative. I don't trust what you say, I argue with what you tell Me. I refuse to accept responsibility for My emotions, blaming them instead on you. I run away from everything, spending as many nights away from home as possible. Even when I am home, I don't tell you what bothers Me, I ignore it all and pretend that it will go away and focus on laundry and telly and anything else. I resent you and mistrust you. ( more madness )

In the Doctor Who episode The Impossible Planet, the Doctor and Rose find themselves on a planet that is emitting a "gravity beam" while orbiting a black hole. ( more madness )

Last night was the first time I had seen My Master since I came to this conclusion, since I have gained this resolve to do My best. During the course of the evening, he was rude to Me three times, and three times I let it go. After the last one, I excused Myself, and hid in a different room with a book. I had planned to stay in there until I was no longer irritated with him, for I did not wish to snap at him and cause trouble. ( more madness )

Most children go through a difficult phase, when, made irritable by puberty and all the change around them, they become unnecessarily contrary and disobedient. I am proud to say that I went through this phase early in My life, in early Middle School as opposed to High School, and that it lasted rather briefly. The credit for this, however, must go to My Father, who, in his wisdom, managed to snap Me out of this phase in but one evening. ( more madness )

When the end of the world is here, when everything is changing so rapidly you are not the same person you were hours ago, let alone days, when no control can be retained over any aspect of one's life and being, one must let go, and simply BE.
I am in a new lifestyle right now, meeting new people, developing new types of relationships. It is all so confusing and new, and I am losing My grip on Myself. Nothing is clearly defined anymore -- black and white has completely vanished, only to be replaced by an ocean of grays. ( more madness )